24: Live Another Day ReJacktions – Episode 3 (1PM-2PM)

Posted on May 19, 2014 by Rites of Patches

After a four year absence, 24 is returning to TV in the form of a “limited series.” Shortened seasons for broadcast shows are in right now. Big-network programs like Hannibal, The Following, Sleepy Hollow and Under the Dome are taking a page out of the British/Premium Cable model, offering shortened seasons of around 12-15 episodes without the traditional option of extending the season. 24 is embracing this model as well, cutting Jack Bauer’s “day” in half to (theoretically) tell a tighter story and keep costs down. How well 24 translates into 12 remains to be seen, but there is no denying of the excitement of having Jack Bauer back on the small screen.

As a limited run companion piece to our series-spanning Dead Series Discussions we – Patches, Zach, Jeff and MegaMix -will be posting reactions to each episode of Live Another Day as it airs. These “ReJacktions” are not as long or formal (ha!) as our other posts on the series, but instead give us a chance to add some reflections and observations for each episode. Once the season has ended, we’ll give Live Another Day a proper Dead Season Discussion before bidding farewell to 24. At least until Jack comes back again.

This week’s ReJacktion is focused on the Episode 3 of Live Another Day, “Day 9: 1:00 p.m. – 2:00 p.m.”

It contains SPOILERS for the entire series of 24 and strong language. Parental discretion is advised. Discussion occurs in real time.

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Patches
JACK BAUER SHOT TWO PROTESTERS IN THE LEG TO USE A RIOT AS COVER.

Let me back up a bit.

A concern I had going into Episode 3 was that Live Another Day would lose some of it’s oomph after the novelty of new 24 wore off. Last week, we all expressed degrees of excitement ranging from cautious optimism to 24 IS BACK, BITCHES! But what would happen after the thrill is gone?

I’m still on board. However, Jack’s inability to grieve with Chloe is reminiscent of his hospital conversation with Renee in Season 7. Audrey is still boring as shit, reminiscent of Seasons 4-6. And Catelyn Stark’s terror family brings back memories of Season 4’s Araz Family, especially after they ditched the cool “I don’t like my wife fucking other dudes for the cause” conflict in favor of a more generic “cold feet” angle. I’m sure Jeff, our local 24 historian, could give additional examples.

Worst of all, Jack might be turned over to the Russians and it’s implied that someone in the US government took out Chloe’s family. It’s like Jack’s day can’t just be about stopping a terrible thing from happening. He also needs to evade his own government while doing it. My hope was that they would cut that sort of padding in a shortened season, but I was wrong.

Thankfully, Live Another Day is trying some novel ideas. Continue reading →

24: Live Another Day ReJacktions – Episodes 1 & 2 (11AM-12PM & 12PM-1PM)

Posted on May 11, 2014 by Rites of Patches

This week’s ReJacktion is focused on the premiere episodes of Live Another Day, “Day 9: 11:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.” and “Day 9: 12:00 p.m. – 1:00 p.m.”

It contains SPOILERS for the entire series of 24 and strong language. Parental discretion is advised. Discussion occurs in real time.

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Patches
I tell you what, guys. It took me about five minutes into the premiere to get me jacked (*wink*) for Live Another Day. And true to form, the two-hour premiere had “dammits,” torture, sweet accents, and recycled plot points. Overall, I’m pumped, mostly because 24 is back, but also because I like this season’s characters so far.

Jack is still Jack. Chloe is still Chloe, except that she’s got some Goth Edward Snowden/Julian Assange thing going. I hope her whole family died because I can’t think of another reason for her to abandon them to use her hacking skillz for evil.

Benjamin Bratt’s Steve Navarro is the CTU Director equivalent for the season. He’s smart, empathetic, and reasonable, but a little too smart for his own good sometimes. Chris Partlow is a good field operative whose ambition might get in the way. I hope he has a protege who shouts “Yerp!”

Yvonne Strahovski is this season’s FemBauer. She quickly figures out the situation but no one believes her, causing her to go rogue. Have I mentioned I’m in love with Yvonne Strahovski? (Hopeful reaction)

James Heller is now President of the United States because no one can become president on 24 without being tangentially related to some other president. Also, he has Alzheimer’s or something. 25th Amendment, anyone?

Audrey Raines returns as the Prsadkn.hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Sorry, I must have dozed off there.

So, gentlemen, what did you think of the premiere of Live Another Day? Continue reading →

24: The Longest Dead Series Discussion of Our Lives – Season Eight

Posted on May 7, 2014 by Rites of Patches

“JACK GOES ROGUER THAN USUAL”

24 is a groundbreaking and important television series. Beyond the thrills, kills, twists and tragedies is a show that reached a new level of serialized storytelling and set the bar for action and suspense on network television. Lasting for 8 full seasons–192 Episodes plus a TV movie–24 is one of the longest-running shows of the past 15 years. Others, like Grey’s Anatomy, NCIS, Smallville, all three CSIs and three of four Law & Orders,may have run longer, but the argument can be made that none of those shows are equally as worthy of contributing to the debatably labeled and vaguely-defined “Third Golden Age of Television Drama” that began with The Sopranos in 1999 and is now fading with the end of Breaking Bad and the impending finale of Mad Men. Perhaps 24 doesn’t quite reach the dramatic heights of those shows, or others like The Wire and Deadwood, or even The Shield, Lost or Battlestar Galactica, but it was always a strong awards and ratings contender and it was just so addicting and fun to watch.

Please join us—Patches, Zach, Jeff and MegaMix—as we take a look back at this series, discussing one season every month until the premiere of the new 12-episode miniseries 24: Live Another Day in May 2014.

This month’s discussion is focused on Season 8 of 24, which premiered in January of 2010.

It contains SPOILERS for the entire series of 24 and strong language. Parental discretion is advised. Discussion occurs in real time.

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MegaMix
First of all, as (potentially) my last introduction to a 24 DSD, I’d like to say this has been an amazing experience. Also, I’d like to say that my fellow writers are all scholars and gentlemen…and douche bags. But seriously, folks, great guys.

Secondly, ummm…Renee, is there any chance that you and I might go out sometime? (Answer) I’ll take it.

Okay, now that all of that has been cleared up, on to Day 8.

The first thing I want to bring up is that I always find it interesting to know at what point writers/producers know that a TV show is going to end. For 24, as far as I can tell (i.e it’s never been completely confirmed), they seemed to know early enough to basically give us the answer in the trailer for the season. The initial trailer states “All Jack Bauer has to do is survive one more day.” As we all know, that may have been true in 2009, but Jack will Live Another Day.

Nextly, (since I feel we didn’t talk about it enough last session) let’s talk about the women in Jack’s life up to this point. Continue reading →

24: The Longest Dead Series Discussion of Our Lives – Season Seven

Posted on April 3, 2014 by Rites of Patches

“THE REPRODUCTION HABITS OF MOLES IN THEIR NATURAL ENVIRONMENT”

This month’s discussion is focused on Season 7 of 24, which premiered in January of 2009.

It contains SPOILERS for the entire series of 24 and strong language. Parental discretion is advised. Discussion occurs in real time.

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Patches
I loved most of Season 7. Let me tell you why, and explain the “most” qualifier, in five short essays.

A Watchful Protector

Day 7 was a season with many potential film comparisons, depending on who is the story’s central character.

If the story is about Renee Walker, it’s Platoon. Walker attempts to navigate a slippery slope while competing philosophies (Jack Bauer as Tom Berenger’s Sgt. Barnes and Larry Moss as William Dafoe’s Sgt. Elias) battle for her soul.

If the story is about the returning Tony Almeida, it’s Traitor. Is Tony a good guy or a bad guy? We’re never really sure until the end, but it all makes sense when all is revealed.

But it’s not. 24 is the story of Jack Bauer. This makes Season 7 The Dark Knight. (I think this makes Chloe Oracle and Renee Robin, but we won’t get into that. Bill would make a pretty amazing Commissioner Gordon though, wouldn’t he?)

When Season 7 aired in 2009, the cultural and political backdrop could not have been more different from that during the show’s premiere in 2001. Continue reading →

All’s Well That Ends Well

Posted on March 30, 2014 by Rites of Patches

Even before you press a single button, it is clear that Mass Effect 3 is going to be very different from Mass Effect 2. Gone is the title screen’s stirring music. Gone is the grandiose idle menu cutscene full of action and danger.

In its place is one of the most sober pieces of music imaginable. No cutscenes. No bombast. No firefights. Just a sad song playing while a planet burns and what seem to be meteorites burn up entering a planet’s atmosphere.

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Remember when I mentioned the major shift in music from Mass Effect to Mass Effect 2?

Well, Mass Effect 3 switched it up again.

Mass Effect had to establish a universe, set almost 200 years in the future, where humanity was the newcomer. We are galactic infants and the music needed to show some sense of wonder and possibility. Jack Wall and Sam Hulick succeeded in that regard with a score inspired by sci-fi electronics.

Mass Effect 2 was all about assembling a superteam of badasses, a sort of a sci-fi Expendables, in order to save humanity from new threats and old. You recruit a who’s who of galactic experts to defeat the bad guys. That calls for some Hans Zimmer. I’ve probably overused the word “bombast” in relation to Mass Effect 2’s music, but it’s either the most accurate term or the most accurate in my limited vocabulary of music descriptions. In any case, Wall & Hulick again delivered the score ME2 needed.

Mass Effect 3 is about the apocalypse. It is about the end of everything we know and love. It is about billions dead. Mourning. Hopelessness. The inevitable. Even if victory is achieved, the cost will be beyond comprehension. This requires a softer touch and almost oppressive tragedy. Clint Mansell takes over for Jack Wall and joins Hulick to create a score befitting the end of days, perhaps none more so than the gorgeous “Leaving Earth.”

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The opening of Mass Effect 3 is probably the greatest video game “scene” I’ve ever played. Continue reading →

24: The Longest Dead Series Discussion of Our Lives – Season Six

Posted on February 27, 2014 by Rites of Patches

“THERE IS NO GOD”

2.4 (two-point-four) is a mindnumbing and nauseating television series. Beyond the what?!, why?!, who?! and OH GOD DAMNIT GUYS is a show that reached a new level of terrible “story”telling and dropped the bar for action and suspense on network television. Lasting for only 1 full seasons–24 Episodes plus a lot of sadness–2.4 is one of the most infuriating shows of the past 15 years. Others, like Viva Laughlin, Heroes, Eli Stone, all twentyseven Survivors and three of four eps of Sean Saves the World, may have run longer, but the argument can be made that none of those shows are equally as worthy of contributing to the debatably labeled and vaguely-defined “Run of the American Television show 24” that began with Season 1 in 2001 and is now returning with the mini-series Live Another Day. Perhaps 2.4 doesn’t quite reach the painful heights of hammer blows to the head, or others like a kick to the testes and papercuts, or even stubbing your toe, the flu or Rob Schneider movies, but it was somehow a strong awards and ratings contender and it was, admittedly, fun to rip on.

Please join us—Patches, Zach, Jeff and MegaMix—as we take a look back at this series, discussing the only season there was this month, in anticipation for the debatebly related premiere of the new 12-episode miniseries 24: Live Another Day in May 2014.

This month’s discussion is focused on Season 1 of 2.4 — sometimes referred to as Season 6 of 24 — which premiered in January of 2007.

It contains SPOILERS for the entire series of 2.4 and 24, as well as more strong language than usual. Parental discretion is advised. Discussion occurs in real time.

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Zach
This season sucks balls you didn’t even know existed.

When we (Patches, Jeff, MegaMix and myself) were discussing which seasons we wanted to take point on, I knew immediately which two needed to be mine: first, my favorite of ‘em all, S3; and second, the single most infuriating season of television I have ever had the misfortune of watching — this one. “Season 6.” Or as I have taken to calling it, Season 1 of that campy slapstick gem 2.4, a spinoff of 24 in which the world cares not for logic, and the writers are no longer bound to antiquated notions like consistency or motivation.

In this world, anything can happen — literally anything, even if it is in direct contradiction to established character traits. Family members of Jack Bauer can pop in and out of thin air and conveniently be mastermind terrorists. Morris O’Brian can be the most important person in the show. Episodes can be spent showing Jack’s ability to navigate the autism spectrum. Jack can overcome John-McCain-ian PTSD in about 10 minutes by killing one of his closest allies. The vice president can invoke the 25th amendment without anyone in the room having an opinion about whether or not this is a good idea. Singularly important White House staffers can disappear for an hour with a known terrorist hanging out with the president and no one thinks this needs further investigation. Lines like “it’s ACH-med!,” “Send medics to the basement I’m Mike Doyle,” “He was right all along and I… this is going to get much worse,” and “What are you smoking? // I’m here to blow away the smoke,” are said earnestly. A sitting president can give a sleepy speech calmly discussing that there was a nuclear attack on America.

Anything can happen, no matter how ridiculous. If you go into it with that mindset, it can actually be pretty fun to watch, in a Mystery Science Theater kind of way.

It’s hard to put into 800 words exactly what sucks most about this season. Continue reading →

2014 NFL Pythagorean Strength of Schedule

Posted on February 17, 2014 by Rites of Patches

Even before the 2013 NFL Season came to its anti-climactic close, we were already set for the 2014 Season. We still don’t know dates or times of any matchup, but we know every team’s opponents for the 2014 Season.

From that data, some have already used 2013 win/loss records to determine each team’s strength of schedule for the 2014 Season. According to the results, the Oakland Raiders have the toughest schedule and the Indianapolis Colts have the easiest.

However, winning percentage isn’t a great predictor for how good a team will be the next year. A better one is a team’s “Pythagorean Projection.” The basic idea is that a team’s points scored and points allowed are better indicators of how that team will do the next year than the team’s winning percentage.

Maybe a team had a great (or terrible) record in close games. Maybe a team recovered a very high (or low) percentage of their fumbles. Maybe a quarterback recorded a crazily high (or low) interception rate thanks to the sure hands (or butterfingers) of opposing defensive backs. These stats tend to regress towards the mean the next year, implying that luck plays a bigger role in the outcome of football games than we might think. (Bill Barnwell explains with evidence here. Go to “Football’s Pythagorean Theorem” further down the page.)

So, here’s the 2014 NFL strength of schedule using Pythagorean “Expected Wins” instead of Games Won. Continue reading →

Mass Efflections: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Posted on February 16, 2014 by Rites of Patches

Mass Effect 2 is a better game than Mass Effect. After all 56 hours of gameplay Mass Effect 2 had to offer, that much was clear.

Mass Effect 2 is sleeker. The graphics are better. Combat mechanics are more stable. You no longer have to tediously outfit your entire crew. The mini-games for hacking consoles and bypassing security feel more like hacking than Mass Effect’s “random series of buttons.” The storytelling is more personal, tightening the story and making it more engaging.

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Not only did Mass Effect 2 tell a better story; it told a bigger one. The Collectors, agents of the Reapers, are abducting tens of thousands of human colonists as… ummm… part of the Reapers’ plan somehow? Okay, maybe the story wasn’t as good as the storytelling, but it did feel that way.

The music was one major reason why. The synthy electronics of the Mass Effect score are gone and replaced by bombast; soaring strings, pulsing drums, plenty of brass, and thicker, meatier electronics. Think “futuristic Hans Zimmer clone.”

The game’s final mission is another reason. Continue reading →

I’ll Miss You, Mass Effect

Posted on February 9, 2014 by Rites of Patches

I’ll miss you, terrible user interface.

I’ll miss you, obnoxiously long elevator rides.

I’ll miss you, Mako that refuses to bow to the laws of physics.

I’ll miss you, inconsistent cover system.

I’ll miss you, unnecessarily complex armor choices and upgrade system.

I’ll miss you, Mako cannon inexplicably unable to depress enough to hit a target anywhere near you.

I’ll miss you, automatic melee that throws me off in combat.

I’ll miss you, clumsy combat mechanics.

I’ll miss you, sort of one-dimensional characters that laid the foundation for incredible growth over the course of the series.

I’ll miss you, sheer terror of driving across flat terrain, waiting for a thresher maw to attack.

I’ll miss you, random series of button mashes that somehow recovers artifacts.

And, 33 hours later, I’ll miss you, Mass Effect. For all your shortcomings and all the improvements made in Mass Effect 2, you made me fall for you just as hard the second time around.

Elevators, Makos, and a Damn Big Universe

Posted on February 8, 2014 by Rites of Patches

I pumped 51 hours into my first Mass Effect playthrough. I explored the galaxy. I rescued hostages. I brought down Cerberus’ horrific experiments. I saved all sentient life from the Reaper vanguard, Sovereign.

I swear to god 30 of those hours were spent in elevators or the Mako.

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You start the game at the Citadel, the interstellar hub of politics and trade. The Citadel has about 225 kilometers (140 miles) of habitable surface area and those damn elevators make you feel every meter of it.

You get the idea… sometimes for a full minute while the game loaded your destination.

If you left the Citadel and explored one of the galaxy’s many planets, you weren’t much better off. Standard Alliance protocol seems to demand your Mako insert anywhere but near your destination, requiring long drives over or around often impenetrable terrain. Add technology to salvage or minerals to survey, and it would not be unusual to spend 15 minutes just driving around each of the roughly 30 planet one can explore.

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I finished my second playthrough in 33 hours. Knowing what I was doing minimized elevator and Mako time to the point where it didn’t seem quite the imposition it did the first time. That, however, doesn’t make my first experience any better.

Then again, I’m sure an apology is necessary. As tedious as all that crap was, it was directly responsible for hooking me. Continue reading →

Nothing But The Rain

What Do You Hear?

24: Live Another Day ReJacktions – Episode 3 (1PM-2PM)

24: Live Another Day ReJacktions – Episodes 1 & 2 (11AM-12PM & 12PM-1PM)

24: The Longest Dead Series Discussion of Our Lives – Season Eight

24: The Longest Dead Series Discussion of Our Lives – Season Seven

All’s Well That Ends Well

24: The Longest Dead Series Discussion of Our Lives – Season Six

2014 NFL Pythagorean Strength of Schedule

Mass Efflections: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

I’ll Miss You, Mass Effect

Elevators, Makos, and a Damn Big Universe