Chikara “Tomorrow Never Dies” Review

TND_340Pre-Show Notes
-Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 2300 Arena. December 6, 2014.
-2300 Arena is the renamed ECW Arena. I have no nostalgia, however. That was a bit before my wrestling-fan time.
-It’s the season finale!
-Barring the revelation that it was all a dream, the Flood will still be around for Season 15. Some sort of a game-changer is bound to happen tonight, however!
-Tonight’s Bond film is probably the blandest of Pierce Brosnan’s films. It wasn’t as enjoyable as Goldeneye or The World Is Not Enough, but not as terrible as Die Another Day, mostly because very little is as terrible as Die Another Day.
-Stick around for a Slazenger1-less set of Superlatives in a week or so. Consider it a final evaluation of Season 14 combined with the Slammys.
-After that, however, only time will tell if I continue these reviews into Season 15. Kevin Ford over at the amazing Chikara Special seems to be picking back up with things. This project was always more of a “nature abhors a vacuum” sort of thing anyways. These have been a blast, but I can love Chikara without them.
-Without further ado…

2Heidi Lovelace defeated Missile Assault Ant (w/ Arctic Rescue Ant & Orbit Adventure Ant) via Pinfall for the Young Lions Cup
This pre-show podcast match (watch it hereLINK) is to crown the 11th Young Lions Cup Champion. It was a long way to the finals for both of these wrestlers. Lovelace beat Arctic Rescue Ant, Princess KimberLee, Proletariat Boar of Moldova and more to get here while Missile Assault Ant survived the likes of Race Jaxon, Prakash Sabar, and Shynron. The last Young Lions Cup Champion was Mr. Touchdown. Touchdown, however, didn’t get to do much with it other than have a couple of good defenses against ACH and Saturyne.

Speaking of Saturyne, I wonder how she and her abs are doing these days…

Missile Assault Ant isn’t a fan of sportsantship, but Heidi doesn’t back down. Missile took her head off with a boot and took control, aided by his two stablemates. Heidi showed her fighting spirit by shaking off the Triple Northern Lights and kicking out of a dropkick at 1.

Heidi eventually came back and took out Xtreme Force with a dive before shoving Missile Assault Ant into a teammate, setting him up for a spike hurricanrana for the win. I don’t buy Missile Assault Ant losing after Heidi’s first offense of the evening, but I’m not disappointed by the result. Heidi has worked her butt off and that finisher does look vicious. Solid start, kicking off an important show with an important match for an important thing.

3Ashley Remington defeated Juan Francisco de Coronado via Pinfall
Juan Francisco came out with two lovely Ecuadorian ladies sporting the pinnacle of Ecuadorian fashion. As the match began, Bryce told us the match could only be won by pinfall following a German Suplex.

The usual smooth sailin’ chicanery started the match before Juan Francisco took control after Spearing Remington through the ropes onto the floor. The back and forth match stayed relatively high-octane the whole time.

Remington hit a spinning facebuster and went into a cover. Barber refused to count. After some counters, Juan Francisco hit the match’s first German Suplex, but Ashley kicked out at 2. Juan Francisco followed that up with a German Suplex on the apron. Remington came back, however, lifting de Coronado from the apron into the ring in one smooth (believe that or not) motion for the German Suplex win.

This was a fantastic match. If anyone needed a reminder that both of these guys are incredible wrestlers, this was it. They told a beautiful story of two evenly talented guys who really don’t like each other. I also loved all the counters throughout the match. It’s almost as though both men are professionals who might have already wrestled each other twice…

After the match, Continue reading

Chikara “For Your Eyes Only” Review

FYEOPre-Show Notes
-Windsor, Connecticut. Nomad’s Adventure Quest. November 16, 2014.
-Nomad’s Adventure Quest is apparently the name of a thing. How about that?
-This week’s Bond was another Roger Moore joint. Playing the Greek villain was the same guy who played General Veers in The Empire Strikes Back. Nice work, only competent Imperial leader!
-Also… Grand Maester Pycelle? OH MY GOD, PEOPLE, GRAND MAESTER PYCELLE IS GENERAL VEERS!
-Plenty of fallout from the night before. Shard is dead. 17 may or may not be an impostor. My money’s on Gary Sinese!
-Real talk, though, I liked that movie.
-Tonight’s main event is 3.0 challenging for an unprecedented third reign as Campeonatos de Parejas. The Promised Land awaits, but the Throwbacks will certainly have something to say about that!
-In unrelated news, if Chikara needs anyone to write clichéd teasers, I’m cheap. Just saying’…
-Also, is this their first title defense and four months of feuding with the Flood? Damn…

vlcsnap-2014-12-04-17h43m08s168The Devastation Corporation (Blaster McMassive & Max Smashmaster) defeated Ashley Remington & Jervis Cottonbelly, the Batiri (Kodama & Obariyon), and the Bloc Party (Prakash Sabar & the Proletariat Boar of Moldova) via Pinfall
A four-team tag match and no Los Ice Creams? IT’S LIKE I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE, CHIKARA! The Devastation Corporation sits at two points. I don’t think anyone else has any. Is it time for Devastation Corporation to cash in on that Trios victory? Also, Chikara somehow found someone smaller than Gavin Loudspeaker to referee this match.

There were plenty of shenanigans early that eventually turned into a rare mid-match 8-man brawl. Then back into hug-related shenanigans. Then another brawl. Then a Boar Gore to Jervis, who just can’t catch a break. Cottonbelly and Remington were eliminated first. Boar awesomely stared down Ashley while rolling Jervis out of the ring.

The Bloc Party worked the Batiri over next as the Devastation Corporation made the strategic decision to wait for another elimination. Smart strategy from Bakabella’s gang. Meanwhile, Continue reading