Chikara “Out on a Limb” Review

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Pre-Show Notes
-The New Mid-Atlantic Sportatorium. Gibbonville, North Carolina. March 7, 2015.
-Welcome! I’m running behind right now since Chikara took forever to release their March shows and because of other stuff I’ve got going on. “Out on a Limb” was the first official Chikara show since “A New Start” in January. I decided not to review National Pro Wrestling Day 2015 due to its somewhat tenuous connection to Chikara. You can check out Kevin Ford’s excellent review here.
– At NPWD, however, the Osirian Portal picked up their third point, leading to our main event tonight. Anyone else feel like the Campeonatos de Parejas has become a bit of an afterthought since the introduction of the Grand Championship?
-I’m not sure what decade this event occurred in. The commentator audio was either coming through a 1920s radio or they were recording over CB. Breaker, breaker, it might be time to go back to SmartMark, over.
-Challenge of the Immortals, the big Season 15 plotline, begins tonight! Long story short, the roster has been divided into 10 teams of four. All 10 teams will face the others twice in tag, trios, or atomicos action. No match type can be repeated when the two teams face each other the second time. Winners get one point, losers get none. The team with the most points at the end of the season wins. Every member of the winning team gets a title shot of their choosing. More details here from the good people/person at Chikara in 15 Minutes or Less. Overall, it seems like a pretty cool way to keep everyone involved and tell some good stories.
-Lastly, we have a new recurring pre-show section. My friend Jeff (of Slazenger1) will be swinging by to drop a little knowledge on us regarding the Arrested Development episodes from which Chikara takes their event titles. There will be Arrested Development spoilers (indicated with bolded text), which I why I’ll put the spoilery parts last. If you are like me and still need to watch AD, skip to the first match!
-Let’s get it on!

Arrest Development with Jeff
These two episodes of Arrested Development (“Out on a Limb” & “Altar Egos”) aired almost one year apart, but in true AD form, they are filled with references to one another. Watching them back-to-back highlights the fun parallels between season 1 and season 2 of this amazing show.

In their respective seasons, they are each the first of back-to-back episodes featuring guest star Julia Louis-Dreyfuss as attorney Maggie Lizer. They also both feature, or refer to GOB’s wife, “Wife of GOB,” played by Amy Poehler, who happens to be a dealer of trained seals.

These episodes are a great example of AD‘s clever use of foreshadowing and callbacks to create satisfyingly silly long-form storytelling. Of course, Chikara’s season 15 titles switched the order of the episodes, but they are so intertwined that they might almost work as well viewed backward.

Fun Bit: Barry Zuckerkorn’s mirror moment.

For AD Aficionados (Spoilers):
In “Out on a Limb” Buster loses a hand and (we’ll find out in the next episode, “Hand to God”), gets a hook. The episode also introduces Skip’s Scramble, and Buster learns that his uncle Oscar is actually his father.

Bonus Arrested Development with Jeff (from “A New Start”)
“A New Start” is from the 4th season, otherwise known as the one produced by Netflix that “resurrected” the show in 2013 (resurrection seems to be a theme for Chikara too, no?). One character on the show translated the phrase to a vanity license plate reading ANUSTART. So there’s that.

vlcsnap-2015-04-07-22h37m18s42Jervis Cottonbelly & Princess KimberLee defeated Die Bruderschaft des Kreuzes (Jakob Hammermeier & Pinkie Sanchez), the Colony (Fire Ant & Worker Ant), and the Wrecking Crew (Flex Rumblecrunch & Jaka) via Pinfall
Nothing like a four-way elimination tag match to get things kicked off. I had no idea that Princess KimberLee was a wrestler, but now that I’ve seen her in action, I’m a fan. Now all we need is for Jervis to stop doing “chivalrous” things that undermine her toughness. If she ever gets sick of having the ropes held for her and being awkwardly “rescued” in the middle of matches, it’s going to turn into an awesome heel turn.

For real, though, this audio is absolutely reprehensible. You can’t listen and watch the match at the same time. Flex is also growing out his hair and it looks good, but weird. Early shenanigans led to a submission centipede that hilariously ended with Jervis tickling Flex and all the other competitors pointing and laughing. The rudos took advantage of the ensuing breakdown to take control of the match, wearing down Worker Ant for a very long time.

After what seemed like forever, Continue reading

Chikara “Tomorrow Never Dies” Review

TND_340Pre-Show Notes
-Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 2300 Arena. December 6, 2014.
-2300 Arena is the renamed ECW Arena. I have no nostalgia, however. That was a bit before my wrestling-fan time.
-It’s the season finale!
-Barring the revelation that it was all a dream, the Flood will still be around for Season 15. Some sort of a game-changer is bound to happen tonight, however!
-Tonight’s Bond film is probably the blandest of Pierce Brosnan’s films. It wasn’t as enjoyable as Goldeneye or The World Is Not Enough, but not as terrible as Die Another Day, mostly because very little is as terrible as Die Another Day.
-Stick around for a Slazenger1-less set of Superlatives in a week or so. Consider it a final evaluation of Season 14 combined with the Slammys.
-After that, however, only time will tell if I continue these reviews into Season 15. Kevin Ford over at the amazing Chikara Special seems to be picking back up with things. This project was always more of a “nature abhors a vacuum” sort of thing anyways. These have been a blast, but I can love Chikara without them.
-Without further ado…

2Heidi Lovelace defeated Missile Assault Ant (w/ Arctic Rescue Ant & Orbit Adventure Ant) via Pinfall for the Young Lions Cup
This pre-show podcast match (watch it hereLINK) is to crown the 11th Young Lions Cup Champion. It was a long way to the finals for both of these wrestlers. Lovelace beat Arctic Rescue Ant, Princess KimberLee, Proletariat Boar of Moldova and more to get here while Missile Assault Ant survived the likes of Race Jaxon, Prakash Sabar, and Shynron. The last Young Lions Cup Champion was Mr. Touchdown. Touchdown, however, didn’t get to do much with it other than have a couple of good defenses against ACH and Saturyne.

Speaking of Saturyne, I wonder how she and her abs are doing these days…

Missile Assault Ant isn’t a fan of sportsantship, but Heidi doesn’t back down. Missile took her head off with a boot and took control, aided by his two stablemates. Heidi showed her fighting spirit by shaking off the Triple Northern Lights and kicking out of a dropkick at 1.

Heidi eventually came back and took out Xtreme Force with a dive before shoving Missile Assault Ant into a teammate, setting him up for a spike hurricanrana for the win. I don’t buy Missile Assault Ant losing after Heidi’s first offense of the evening, but I’m not disappointed by the result. Heidi has worked her butt off and that finisher does look vicious. Solid start, kicking off an important show with an important match for an important thing.

3Ashley Remington defeated Juan Francisco de Coronado via Pinfall
Juan Francisco came out with two lovely Ecuadorian ladies sporting the pinnacle of Ecuadorian fashion. As the match began, Bryce told us the match could only be won by pinfall following a German Suplex.

The usual smooth sailin’ chicanery started the match before Juan Francisco took control after Spearing Remington through the ropes onto the floor. The back and forth match stayed relatively high-octane the whole time.

Remington hit a spinning facebuster and went into a cover. Barber refused to count. After some counters, Juan Francisco hit the match’s first German Suplex, but Ashley kicked out at 2. Juan Francisco followed that up with a German Suplex on the apron. Remington came back, however, lifting de Coronado from the apron into the ring in one smooth (believe that or not) motion for the German Suplex win.

This was a fantastic match. If anyone needed a reminder that both of these guys are incredible wrestlers, this was it. They told a beautiful story of two evenly talented guys who really don’t like each other. I also loved all the counters throughout the match. It’s almost as though both men are professionals who might have already wrestled each other twice…

After the match, Continue reading

Chikara “The World Is Not Enough” Review

TWINotEnough300Pre-Show Notes
-7.20.2014. Wonderland Ballroom. Revere, Massachusetts.
-This is the second and final Chikara show of July. “The Living Daylights” was held in New York the day before.
-Title match tonight! Plus, Icarus returns to action after missing June with a concussion.
-Wow. That’s a looooooow ceiling… Good thing no one on the card likes to fly. Word is that they were moved from the actual ballroom to the bar for some reason.
-Danielle Matheson did a road diary for this show. It’s amazing and you should read it.
-Is this a bad time to mention that I liked Pierce Brosnan as James Bond? Let’s see if Christmas comes more than once for Chikara fans tonight!

vlcsnap-2014-08-04-15h54m51s1823.0 (Scott Parker & Shane Matthews) defeated the Odditorium (Oliver Grimsly & Qefka the Quiet) via Pinfall
3.0 had me in tears to start as they made fun of the low ceiling and the sound effect bell-ringing. This was a nice match to start the show, although it felt way shorter than it could or maybe should have been. 3.0 won with the Sweet Taste of Professionalism at 5:35.

The Odditorium continues to be Circus Slaters, not really a threat to anyone. But, that’s pretty obviously not their job this season. If their job is to make their opponents look good, they’ve been doing great work all year. In fact, they probably deserve a raise.

vlcsnap-2014-08-04-15h55m49s238Ashley Remington defeated Archibald Peck via Submission
Yet another thumb war segment ended up on the official MP4. I’m not sure what these are doing on the final cut, but thank goodness the two twenty-something dudes jobbed to the little kids.

Archibald Peck came out and Halperted the hard cam when the low ceiling kept him from finishing his entrance. Ashley Remington was still sailin’ smooth, although we did get to see a little anger flair up before he smoothed it over with a few deep breaths. Remington and Jervis Cottonbelly have somewhat similar shticks, but this was the first time we’ve seen either wrestle another tecnico. If you don’t love Smooth Sailin’, we can’t be friends.

Everyone loving Ashley Remington might be my favorite gag in Chikara right now. Even Bryce Remsburg and Archibald Peck were smitten with Remington, culminating in a three-way hug that included joyful jumping. This GIF, you guys. Everyone, that is, except Chuck Taylor, who Continue reading